fjordstan:

clityeastwood:

this joke made me laugh so hard the first time i heard it i almost threw up

neurofish:

i feel like crying!! no wait i’m ok!! oh my god i’m so in love!! wow i’m ugly and gross and probably the worst!! wait!! i’m ok again!! time to cut all my hair off!! time to cry again whoops haha!!!!

millennial-review:

that-twink-over-there:

unclefather:

I can hear my kid playing supermarket by herself and she’s telling all the customers that they are disgusting and they need to leave

And she’s right

i-miss-my-90gb:

*says something and gets what i interpret as slight disinterest in response* okay!!!! I will not speak again

gynandromorph:

thecutestcatever:

uguuuchan:

gimme sammich

gib bagul

i’m on the verge of tears because i’ve seen this post tons of times but today i realized the second reblog is cheezeburger speak for “give bagel” when i thought it was a dark souls boss name like 

greatvaluequaaludes:

greatvaluequaaludes:

greatvaluequaaludes:

greatvaluequaaludes:

greatvaluequaaludes:

greatvaluequaaludes:

hey i uhhhhhhhhhhhh Hate to make a post like this but

if i don’t have september’s rent in time, i’m going to have to move back in with my unsupportive/violent family in the midwest

i’m actively applying for jobs, picking up side gigs at every possible opportunity, and like living off rice lmao. it’s hard to tell at this point if that’s gonna be enough. i’m trying extremely hard to get on my feet but i just got out of the hospital after a suicide attempt and it’s been very difficult for me to keep a job (but i am trying so hard). there is absolutely nothing i want less in the world than to go back to michigan.

if you can spare anything at all i’d really really appreciate it. i can offer like friendship bracelets or noods or like w/e u want in return

venmo: @ Theynoy

cashapp: $henoi

30/500

45/500

65/500

thank y’all so much!!!!😭

75/500

100/500

greatvaluequaaludes:

hey i uhhhhhhhhhhhh Hate to make a post like this but

if i don’t have september’s rent in time, i’m going to have to move back in with my unsupportive/violent family in the midwest

i’m actively applying for jobs, picking up side gigs at every possible opportunity, and like living off rice lmao. it’s hard to tell at this point if that’s gonna be enough. i’m trying extremely hard to get on my feet but i just got out of the hospital after a suicide attempt and it’s been very difficult for me to keep a job (but i am trying so hard). there is absolutely nothing i want less in the world than to go back to michigan.

if you can spare anything at all i’d really really appreciate it. i can offer like friendship bracelets or noods or like w/e u want in return

venmo: @ Theynoy

cashapp: $henoi

lesbx:

cat when I’m snuggling him: I’ve never met you in my life. you bastard. you fiend. stop this at once

cat when I’m busy doing something and can’t pet him right that second: Where Is My Kisses From Mommy??? Where Is My Snuggles And Cuddles That I Crave So Dearly. You Are A Cruel And Unjust Mother And I Am Going To Scream

party-slug:

nooo dont unionize, youre so profitable aha

greatvaluequaaludes:

[GENDER REDACTED]s born after 1993 can’t cook all they know is shoegaze, change their name, be culturally assimilated, eat alprazolam and lie